I’ll try not to make this one a novel. TRY.
Rankdown (Palena):
10. Jolanda: UGGGGHHH. What a shit show. So we have a couple of things going on here. Firstly, Jolanda is completely changing up her game from last season – to the point she is also not doing those things that she did well in Costa Rica. She’s not PMing people, she’s being short, she’s not trying to strategize with anyone, she’s not posting on the forum at Camp. She’s being a total borewhore and almost no one likes her. Shit even Brook is talking about how boring she is and he knows her. Not good. So with all of this going on, there are alliances forming everywhere around her that she is neither a part nor aware of. Now enter Jolanda-gate. I’ve been posting updates in the Episode 1 thread about all of this but holy fucking hell what a mess. Because of point 1, and people generally not really liking Jo to begin with, this controversy has spun out of control. An innocent message to Brook about liking Erica better than Ted and wanting her in their alliance has telephoned its way into Jolanda being the devious mastermind of the season forming alliances left and right, inviting people and not telling them, not inviting people. UGGGGGHHH. The irony is astounding considering she's intentionally trying to play UTR. The swap can only help Jolanda because if the tribes stayed the same she would be voted off in a unanimous vote. The vets in her tribe will have a use for her, if they plan on sticking together, once the swap happens so she hopefully won’t be the first to go.
9. John: John hasn’t done anything wrong YET. Well except having his brother’s bachelor party (buck’s as they apparently call it in Oz) so he hasn’t really been on much nor talked to anyone. His name has been thrown around as the first boot. It is really going to depend on who he lands with after the swap to determine his fate in the game, especially given his challenge competence. I *think* the Aussies will try to protect him for a bit. But as of now, besides them, he doesn’t have many fans.
8. Ted: From all the frigging hype about Ted we got pre-season, he’s sort of a let down here. There are alliances all over the place and he’s really only in one of them (The Oz Alliance) which I personally question the strength of as a few of them have some parachutes that they are giving priority over Oz. He’s also formed a Greece alliance, but considering Jake ranks him last on the list of people he likes/trusts….. yea that one’s not gonna happen. Maybe he’s waiting for the action to start, but his only activity is talking about the Australian Open with Chase. I’m hoping he steps it up soon, which he’s probably going to have to at the swap. The swap could be interesting for Ted if he lands there without a majority of the Aussies and lands with Holly, who apparently knows him and hates him.
![icon_lol icon_lol](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
7. Erica: Erica is freaking hilarious. She’s taken to sending people who annoy/bore her nonsense in PMs.
![icon_lol icon_lol](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
![icon_lol icon_lol](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
5./6. Jake/Ken: I couldn’t rank them separately because they are kind of an entity and I can’t really choose one over the other. Everyone seems to like them and throws their names around as potential alliance mates. Jake and Fabio get along really well and chat for hours about non-game non-bullshit stuff. On the flipside, Chase sees Ken as someone he can take under his wing and bring along with him for the ride. So in my mind they are pretty much even and the two of them are a known Greek pair in the game. Considering I think Fabio/Chase are currently the power players, this puts them in a very safe position for now. I’d be pretty shocked if these two left before the merge again. Unless something completely nuts happens at the swap, they should make it which sounds like is their goal.
4. Brook: Brook is set up pretty nicely right now and until he fucks it up, he is in a pretty safe spot. He’s solidly with The Oz Alliance and has parachutes in Erica and Fabio. The problem is… Brook is telling the Aussies EVERYTHING which will most likely bite him in the ass at some point. He’s putting way too much faith in that very fragile Oz thing. The only reason I ranked him ahead of Jake/Ken is because he is being brutally honest with Chase, and that will probably take him pretty far. Chase doesn’t seem to have a lot of respect for Brook’s game, and if he sees him as a bitch goat he can drag to the end, he may jump on that opportunity. (Can you tell I think Chase is the one to watch out of the vets?
![icon_lol icon_lol](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
3. Russhole: SHOCKINGLY…. Russell is in a pretty good position right now, even with that annoying fucking schtick that kinda makes me want to punch him in the nutsack. But that is neither here nor there. He dropped the schtick for a brief time (it’s back again
![icon_mad icon_mad](./images/smilies/icon_mad.gif)
1./2. Fabio/Chase: Power duo. These two are killing it right now. I can’t really determine which of the two is in a better position yet, because they both have their strengths. Chase has the Aussie connection he is working. Fabio is working Jake and Erica hard. These two are a pair that’s going to do some damage and according to Chase, his alliance with Fabio and Russhole is the real deal. The only area where Chase might eke out Fabio a bit is on the partner front. Yve is a goddess and totally open to working with Chase. Dan doesn’t like Fabio and has already told half the tribe who his partner is. But at this point, these two guys are positioned fabulously until someone figures it out, and who knows if it will be too late at that point. If they end up together on the same tribe after the swap, it would be remiss to think they won’t dominate, knowing there are at least two newbs willing to flip, along with their charm. Holly may pose a problem for Chase, but we’ll really have to see where everyone lands before I would start worrying about him.
Current Palena Alliances (
![icon_lol icon_lol](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
- The Oz Alliance – John, Brook, Chase, Ted: The only one who believes in this is Brook.
- Chase, Fabio, Russhole: This is most likely the real deal for all three of them.
- Erica, Brook, Chase, Fabio, Russhole: They want to bring Jake in as a sixth vote. Funny that no one except Brook even told Chase about this alliance. I honestly think this alliance only exists in Erica’s head.
- Brook, Jolanda, Ken, Jake, Erica: The cause of Jolanda-gate. This fizzled out before it started when Erica had an aneurism over Jolanda telling Brook she liked her.
![icon_lol icon_lol](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
- Greece Alliance: Ken, Jake, Ted: Jake hates Ted. This isn’t going to happen. Stop trying to make it happen.
- Erica, Jake, Chase, Fabio, Russhole: I’m pretty sure this is Chase’s misunderstanding of the Erica alliance mostly on account of Erica has never talked to him about it. Ironically doing exactly what she accused Jolanda of.
Edit: John is now on and driving the short bus all over Brook to anyone and everyone who will listen to him telling them how Brook made three alliances last season and he is shady. This may or may not affect my rankings if people believe him. At this point I don't give a shit though. It took me too long to write that.
![icon_biggrin icon_biggrin](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)